Waiting for the Perfect Time
Photo by Lili Popper on Unsplash
Have you noticed that you put off pursuing your goals or dreams until everything feels just right? Maybe you're waiting for the perfect moment (“when I feel more confident”), the perfect body (“when I’m thinner or more yoga-like”), or the perfect circumstances (“when things calm down at work”).
This is what I like to call the “when x, then I’ll y” voice. I’ve seen it so many times in my own life and in the lives of my clients. It’s just another sneaky way that perfectionism can show up and stall your efforts. This voice tells you that you'll pursue your dreams when you're a more perfect version of yourself or when your life looks more ideal.
The truth as I’ve come to know it, is that there’s no “ideal” time. Life is messy and imperfect, and waiting for things to be perfect (or even better) is a great way to stay stuck. And putting off your dreams until later is a surefire way to miss out on the joy and fulfillment that comes from pursuing them.
If this voice sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Unfortunately, perfectionism is a common trait among highly sensitive people. We often hold ourselves to high standards and feel deeply when we fall short. It can be a double-edged sword, driving us to achieve great things while also holding us back from taking risks and pursuing our passions.
So how can you overcome this perfectionistic tendency and start taking action on your goals and dreams? Here are a few tips:
Acknowledge your perfectionistic tendencies: Notice when you're putting off pursuing something because you feel like you're not ready or everything isn't ideal yet. Take a moment to acknowledge that this is likely your perfectionistic voice talking, and it's not serving you. Here’s what I tell my voice: “Thank you for trying to protect me, and we’re okay. I’ve got this and even though it’s not ideal and a little scary, I’m doing it anyway.”
Embrace imperfection: One of the best antidotes to perfectionism is to embrace imperfection. No one is perfect, and neither is life. You don’t need to put things on hold until a more perfect version of you or your circumstances emerges. (Note: this is not the same thing as taking down time for restoration and rejuvenation. Those are vital and needed so please do rest when you need to. Check out this post where I talk all about down time.)
Take imperfect action: Start taking some imperfect action towards your goals and dreams. Remember that progress, not perfection, is the goal. Take one small (imperfect) step today towards what you want to achieve. And then take another one tomorrow. My friend, Philippa, says, “Done imperfectly is better than not done.”
Celebrate your progress: I love this one! Acknowledge all the wins and milestones you've achieved, big or small. I like to have an impromptu dance party to celebrate my little (and big) wins, and I say out loud to myself, “We did it! Great job! Yay us!” (If you’re wondering who “us” is, it’s me, little Robbie, perfectionism, people-pleaser, fear….there’s a whole bus-load of us in here.)
Practice self-compassion: Finally, and maybe most importantly, be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself when things don't go as planned; be kind to yourself when thing take loner than you thought; be kind to yourself for being the imperfect human you are. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a close friend or a child. I have a picture of little me in my office to help me remember that she deserves kindness.
If you recognize some of these tendencies in yourself, remember that you’re not alone! If you have a dream or goal you’ve been putting off and you need help moving forward, consider reaching out for a free discovery call. I’d be honored to help.
Here’s to progress, not perfection!
-Robbie