HSPs Need Downtime
Photo by Ludemeula Fernandes on Unsplash
I was in a conversation the other day with a highly sensitive person (HSP) who was judging herself for not having more energy. She wanted tips on how to get more done in a day (note: she was already doing a million things that she wasn’t giving herself credit for, but that’s a topic for another blog). An HSP client was lamenting that she was falling short compared to “everyone else” and another client was feeling super guilty for needing rest. Unfortunately, I hear this type of thing all the time (sometimes even in my own head) and I think it’s time to change the conversation. The dominant culture assaults us with messages that we need to go go go, do do do, produce produce produce, and we can slip into overwhelm and not-enoughness really quickly if we’re not careful. It can cause us to push past our limits and judge ourselves for our needs.
Have you ever gotten angry with your car for needing gas or a battery charge? Judged it for needing an oil change or tires? “What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you keep going on empty?!” I haven’t. I may have felt a bit inconvenienced, or unhappy with prices, but I’ve never thought there was something wrong with my car for needing the regular maintenance that keeps it running smoothly. (I’m not at all a car person, but this analogy helps me, and I hope it might help you, too.)
Unfortunately, when it comes to our minds and bodies, many of us judge ourselves for needing things like rest and quiet and alone time. We may beat ourselves up for feeling tired, stressed, or overwhelmed, instead of recognizing that these are signals that we need to slow down and recharge. Instead of giving ourselves permission to rest, we might ignore the signs that we need care or push ourselves to the limit, skipping meals, neglecting exercise, or staying up late to get work done. Instead of wondering if the systems we’re in are asking more of us than is healthy, we immediately assume we’re broken or not enough.
As an HSP, it can be easy to fall into the trap of feeling like there is something wrong with us when we need to recharge, especially when the world feels like it’s on hyperspeed. We may compare our needs to others’ and then feel guilty or judge ourselves for needing more downtime. It can feel like we’re falling behind in productivity or achievement. In my coaching practice, I hear so many HSPs berating themselves for needing a break. I myself may have fallen into this self-judgement trap once or twice in the past. (Please note that “past” means as recently as last week and “once or twice” means eleventybillion times over the course of my lifetime.)
The truth is, HSP brains are wired to take in more information from their surroundings and process everything deeply. Needing more downtime is not a weakness or a character flaw; it’s a natural aspect of our biology and temperament.
Not giving our systems the downtime they need can have serious consequences for our health and well-being. When we don't take care of ourselves, we can experience burnout, physical illness, and mental health problems. (Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt!)
Just like a car needs fuel to keep running smoothly, (all) humans need rest and downtime to recharge our batteries, and as HSPs, that’s especially true for us.
How can we give that to ourselves? Here are a few tips:
Recognize your needs. Start paying attention to your body and mind and notice when you're feeling overwhelmed or drained. Instead of pushing through, take a break and give yourself the time and space you need to recharge.
Give yourself permission to rest. It's okay to take a break, even if you have a lot of work to do or feel like you "should" be doing something else. Remember that taking care of yourself is a top priority.
Plan for downtime. Just like you plan for regular oil changes and tune-ups for your car, schedule in downtime for yourself. Whether it's a daily meditation practice, a weekly yoga class, or a monthly weekend getaway, make time for activities that help you rest and recharge.
Be kind to yourself. Just like you wouldn't berate your car for needing gas, don't berate yourself for needing downtime. Instead, be kind and compassionate with yourself, and recognize that taking care of yourself is an act of self-love and self-respect.
Taking care of yourself is not a weakness; it’s a necessary part of living a happy, healthy life. The next time you're feeling guilty for needing a break, remember: just like your car needs gas to keep running, you need rest to keep thriving. For additional support in prioritizing self-care, check out these resources:
You’re worth it!
-Robbie Leigh